Another Funny Text Messages and Hilarious Text Messages for you
11. Why do couples hold hands durring their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking
hands before the fight begins!
12. Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
And Those inside are desperate 2 come out..
13. You - cute
You = hot
You = sweet
You = intelligent
You = amazing
You = perfect
Me = liar
14. Doctor: You look exactly like my third wife.
Girl: How many wives do u have?
Doctor : Two
Smart people always have smart ideas
15. In the hall of examnation.
Supervisor : Why yoU wrote the formula on your hand.
Student : Bcoz my professor advice me that the formulas must be on your finger tips.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Text Messages 1-10
Funny text messages only for you. Hope you enjoy. Smile!
1. Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
2. If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
3. I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
4. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
5. Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
6. You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
7. As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people dont.
8. Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
9. I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'Y'.
10. Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
1. Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
2. If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
3. I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
4. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
5. Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
6. You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
7. As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people dont.
8. Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
9. I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'Y'.
10. Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Funny Text Messages 61-70
Funny Text Messages | Hilarious Text Messages
1. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
2. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
3. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
4. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
5. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
6. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
7. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
8. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
9. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
10. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
1. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
2. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
3. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
4. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
5. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
6. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
7. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
8. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
9. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
10. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Where to find lots of Text Messages
Honestly speaking, majority of my text messages here are just being copied. Yes, it came from different sources trough out the internet. I have come up to this idea to share my sources a traffic which is you my fellow Texters. Though i am stealing some text messages it doesn't mean that im a thief i just want those text messages to share with you. So now i am giving the idea on where to find lots of text messages.
http://www.txt2nite.com/ - This site ranks number one in Google.
http://www.txtbuff.com/ - Largest text message archive of funny text messages, text jokes and love text messages submitted by texters from the texting capital of the world. Feel free to contribute. You will be acknowledged as the sender of the message when you register. Use it as your own online SMS inbox!
http://www.txtmania.com/messages/text.php - Contains thousands of text messages categorized as love notes, love letters, friendly messages, morning greetings, goodnight kisses, jokes, wise quotes, inspirational thoughts, and heavenly words! On top of these, a number of Bible verses were included to share God's message to everyone.
Those three are the biggest resources as of now.
http://www.txt2nite.com/ - This site ranks number one in Google.
http://www.txtbuff.com/ - Largest text message archive of funny text messages, text jokes and love text messages submitted by texters from the texting capital of the world. Feel free to contribute. You will be acknowledged as the sender of the message when you register. Use it as your own online SMS inbox!
http://www.txtmania.com/messages/text.php - Contains thousands of text messages categorized as love notes, love letters, friendly messages, morning greetings, goodnight kisses, jokes, wise quotes, inspirational thoughts, and heavenly words! On top of these, a number of Bible verses were included to share God's message to everyone.
Those three are the biggest resources as of now.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Hilarious Text Messages 1-5
Hilarious Text Messages is a funny one but it is extremely funny as possible right? I am giving you free Hilarious Text Messages for you to share to somebody.
1. You asked for a candle and got the sun. You asked for a glass of water and received the ocean. You asked for a cute friend and got ME. Your so lucky.
2. A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"
3. Newsflash: Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart, sexy, witty n very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry where do you think i shud hide?
4. I don't know how to say this. We are friends but I can't get you out of my mind. This is wrong but you're the only one I could think of. This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!
5. Last nite i wantd u, needed u so badly dat it hurt, wantd 2 taste u, i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldn't find u, where r u.. paracetamol!
1. You asked for a candle and got the sun. You asked for a glass of water and received the ocean. You asked for a cute friend and got ME. Your so lucky.
2. A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"
3. Newsflash: Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart, sexy, witty n very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry where do you think i shud hide?
4. I don't know how to say this. We are friends but I can't get you out of my mind. This is wrong but you're the only one I could think of. This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!
5. Last nite i wantd u, needed u so badly dat it hurt, wantd 2 taste u, i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldn't find u, where r u.. paracetamol!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Funny Text Messages 51-60
Great to see yah again guys. subscribe at my newsletter to receive updated Text Messages. Feel free to browse at my free Funny text messages.
51. BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
52. God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
53. In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
54. Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
55. Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
56. This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."
57. You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
58. It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
59. A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
60. i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
51. BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
52. God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
53. In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
54. Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
55. Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
56. This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."
57. You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
58. It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
59. A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
60. i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
What my friends Text on me
Yesterday, i have receive some text messages from my friends which is i know it's an hilarious one. I love my friends and my text mates very much, i want to share those messages that i receive so that we can smile, laughing, Smile!
But before that, i would like you to translate this massage because it's in Filipino language.
'Family Tea'
Dli ni sya herbal, mao ni sya kung mag byahi ka og layong lugar, tapos dli ka makanaog kai wala kai
'Family Tea'
Hahah! lol, hope you understand what I'm sharing to you today.
But before that, i would like you to translate this massage because it's in Filipino language.
'Family Tea'
Dli ni sya herbal, mao ni sya kung mag byahi ka og layong lugar, tapos dli ka makanaog kai wala kai
'Family Tea'
Hahah! lol, hope you understand what I'm sharing to you today.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Funny Text Messages 41-50
I am having a bad day today, damn i lost my wallet somewhere at my place and i am having a trouble about my other blog http://www.livemoneymaker.info/. I think it's time for me to add another funny text messages that you wanted to have. smile!
41. I Love "u"! ,I Love "u"! ,I Love "u"! ,I Love "u"! Hey! Don't get excited I also Love V, W, X, Y, Z
42. so Sweet is ur SMILE???so Sweet is ur STYLE???so Sweet is ur VOICE???so Sweet is ur EYE?????see...how Sweetly I LIE
43. Someday u may Lose Ur Hair, Ur Teeth, & ur mind,But 1 thing u can't loose is ur good looks,coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
44. This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat!... Now read it without the word cat
45. Sweet Candies r nice to eat,Sweet words are nice to say, Sweet People hard to find,OH GOD how did u find me???
46. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
47. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
48. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
49. What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
50. This is what my boyfriend told me through text and i quote he said I notice that u seem shorter are you shrinking or Is your breasts weighing u down
41. I Love "u"! ,I Love "u"! ,I Love "u"! ,I Love "u"! Hey! Don't get excited I also Love V, W, X, Y, Z
42. so Sweet is ur SMILE???so Sweet is ur STYLE???so Sweet is ur VOICE???so Sweet is ur EYE?????see...how Sweetly I LIE
43. Someday u may Lose Ur Hair, Ur Teeth, & ur mind,But 1 thing u can't loose is ur good looks,coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
44. This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat!... Now read it without the word cat
45. Sweet Candies r nice to eat,Sweet words are nice to say, Sweet People hard to find,OH GOD how did u find me???
46. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
47. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
48. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
49. What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
50. This is what my boyfriend told me through text and i quote he said I notice that u seem shorter are you shrinking or Is your breasts weighing u down
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Exchange Link
Wanna exchange link? feel free to contact me at bemaranderson@gmail.com
Your link will be seen at my footer sections, here's the thing i want you to email me or comment below.
Your Name: ---
Your Email: ---
Your Blog/Site: ---
The Blog/Site Where Can i find my link: ---
Here's my Link: <a href='http://allfunnytextmessages.blogspot.com/'>Funny Text Messages | Hilarious Text Messages </a>
It should be look like this:
Funny Text Messages | Hilarious Text Messages
Great to see yah! Ingat, God Bless us all.
Your link will be seen at my footer sections, here's the thing i want you to email me or comment below.
Your Name: ---
Your Email: ---
Your Blog/Site: ---
The Blog/Site Where Can i find my link: ---
Here's my Link: <a href='http://allfunnytextmessages.blogspot.com/'>Funny Text Messages | Hilarious Text Messages </a>
It should be look like this:
Funny Text Messages | Hilarious Text Messages
Great to see yah! Ingat, God Bless us all.
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