Funny Text Messages | Hilarious Text Messages
1. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
2. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
3. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
4. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
5. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
6. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
7. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
8. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
9. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
10. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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